Your Employer Does Not Define You
We often connect our identity to where we work or what we do. Now, more than ever, it’s important to remember that this self-created association is inherently flawed.
It’s going to get worse before it gets better.
That phrase capably describes both the coronavirus pandemic, as U.S. Surgeon General Jerome Adams alluded to earlier this week, and the unemployment rate in the United States, which some experts estimate could spike to 30% in the second quarter of 2020 as a result of the shutdowns to combat the virus.
This, of course, means there’s an abundance of uncertainty in the future of work for a lot of people.
When we talk about unemployment, we largely refer to it in financial terms. It’s not that I take issue with this; after all, figuring out how to pay for groceries or retain health insurance are, indeed, paramount demands. But we commonly fail to broadly discuss the psychological toll that job loss has on those affected.
I have often given those seeking career advice a warning — it’s something that I’ve told people regardless of their current circumstances, in times of prosperity or hardship. And, admittedly, it’s an advisory that’s met with confusion, disingenuous agreement, or even outright resistance.
It’s this: never allow your employer to become part of your identity.
Said simpler, where you work shouldn’t define who you are.
I get it. This isn’t something many of us want to hear. We build lists of the companies we aspire to work for. Many of us feel compelled to share our work — and our company’s successes — on social media platforms. As a result, we tend to wear our employer like a badge on our sleeve, a projection to others that says something about us — about our place in the world.
And, yes, this desire for an association is rooted in science. Psychologist Henri Tajfel advanced the concept of social identity theory in the late 1970s, which explains our need to establish membership within groups to build our self-esteem and sense of belonging. Studies have found that employees who associate with their company — who feel part of a team — are often more engaged and happier.
How, then, can we disassociate ourselves from the company we work for when the association itself is both fundamental to the human experience and critical for our sustained happiness with our employer?
The answer stems from how we frame the relationship.
First, there’s nothing wrong with being proud of the company you work for. Working for a company that you admire and respect — one that aligns with your values — is a noble ambition. Nor is there an issue with feeling a sense of belonging — of community — with your colleagues. These are attributes that will keep you feeling satisfied with, and perhaps even empowered by, your work.
The problem lies in connecting who you are (an internalized value) to an entity you don’t control (an external force). Companies are comprised of hundreds (or thousands) of people. Tethering part of your identity to your organization — and, therefore, to people who make decisions beyond your scope of control every single day — would be akin to staking your identity to the actions of your favourite sports team.
And, my contention is that when this lack of control proverbially slaps you in the face (such as in the case of a layoff), how you identified with that company might very well predict how you’ll respond. Psychologist Carol Dweck pioneered the concept of mindset and its impact on how we view ourselves, our character qualities, and our motivations. Dweck suggests that individuals with a growth mindset view setbacks as opportunities: as “problem(s) to be faced, dealt with, and learned from.” Conversely, individuals with a fixed mindset see their traits (including their character, intelligence, or creativity) as inherent givens, incapable of being improved.
This isn’t to say that someone with a growth mindset won’t ever mistake where they work as part of who they are. But mindset itself is malleable; it can change depending on our experiences and environment. And the more we assign our identity to an external force, the more we risk falling into a fixed mindset: a feeling of helplessness, or despair, a feeling that we don’t have the power to change or grow.
Research has shown that those who derive the most meaning from their jobs view their work as a specialized craft — and this has nothing to do with the type of job they have or the company they work for. One of the most famous studies on this subject was conducted by Yale Professor Amy Wrzesniewski, who found that the happiest, most effective hospital custodial workers saw their jobs as an opportunity to “serve patients” through relationships; this mindset pushed them to consider tactics well beyond their job requirements, such as “rearranging artwork to stimulate comatose patients’ brains.” This is identity. Not defined by where they worked — but instead by what they brought to it.
Framing the relationship with your employer — on your terms — allows you to be open to a growth mindset. It takes you beyond the company you work for, and instead focuses your perspective on what you’ve accomplished, how you crafted your job to be uniquely yours, and how you made a difference in the lives of your customers and peers. These are characteristics that can be further developed — that can be brought with you and applied to the next opportunity. Of course, this positive framing lends well to remind you of how your identity is shaped beyond your work: by the relationships with your loved ones, your values, or how you engage with your community.
Just don’t mistake an employer for identity. Don’t intersect who you are with who signs your paycheck.
Because how we learn, grow, and challenge ourselves — what we can bring to our work — that says more about who we are than a company ever could.
